recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We have started to decorate penises.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
