tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she pinky promised me she was 18
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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