He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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