so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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