he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
