let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
