Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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