My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
