This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
