i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
