would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
