xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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