Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
