I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
