capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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