I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
