that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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