She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
