why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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