Pappa wants mamma naked
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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