I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You're a waste of cheezeits
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
