I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
