Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
