Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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