Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
