what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
