So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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