do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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