you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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