her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You are the jesus of drinking
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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