girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
