K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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