You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
