for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
