Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
