so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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