There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
