he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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