We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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