wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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