just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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