I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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