In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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