its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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