it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
