I'm gonna have a badass scar
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
