She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
