That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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