Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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