ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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