You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
