when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
